‘Well, I gotta talk to him.’ ‘Well sir, maybe we should have somebody talk to you both. I had that neighborhood … The thing that made me into who I am, my kids will never experience.”Ī neck tattoo says, ‘I gave up, think whatever you wanna think.’ How do you go to your parent teacher conference with a neck tattoo that says ‘F-k Life?’ And how are you talking about your kid not doing what he’s supposed to. Also that, at any given time in my neighborhood you could die. You want to toughen a kid up? Throw a kid on a bus with the most random group of people he’ll ever see in his life. Our 19,000 insurance agents are ready to help you start bundling. “You know what made me a man? Public transportation. Save money by combining the purchase of auto insurance with a homeowners, renters. You can’t cheer for no kid at a spelling bee. But my dad would show up at my events and treat them as if they were athletic events. I was into weird shit like spelling bees and debates. My dad was mad at me because I wasn’t an athlete. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.” “I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. ‘Hey! Hey! I know y’all not in that toilet!'” Kids do whatever they want when they’re with dad. All we do is sit on the couch and listen for shit. I don’t like watching my kids by myself - too much pressure. ‘Hey! Don’t be a bitch.’ ‘What does that mean? You want to dive into that a little bit, dad?’ ‘You being a bitch right now asking me that.’ ” “The one piece of advice my dad has given me is not to be a bitch. On The Best Fatherly Advice Ever (From A Crackhead): You’re not gonna hit my kids with something and get a reaction they’ve heard it all from me.” I’m preparing my kids for what other people are gonna say. It’s so disgusting how big your heads are.’ I say it before anybody else does. Like, My kids have big heads, I tell them every day like, ‘Dude, your heads are huge. I’m like, ‘Why would you dress us in different colors? We look like clowns! From now on, solid colors when we go out. My daughter’s taking balls to the face, my son’s shaking his head and slobbering, I’m small - we look like a f-kin circus act! I’ve never been so mad at my wife in my life. I’m like, ‘Throw a ball back!’ I was mad at the way my family looked as a unit. My baby was in the balls and he was throwing the balls at her head. It wasn’t a fight, it was an altercation. ‘Hey! Who got the, uh, thing with the, shit! Hey! Heads in beds right now!’ I dont’ even know what that means. When you got more than 1 kid, you just wake up angry. “I know I’m getting older now because of my kids. “I didn’t know you could get mad at kids to the point where you want to fight. On Kids Not Being As Cuddly As They Seem:
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